The Bee

Today my daughters were playing outside and they found a Bee who could not fly. I decided to stay inside and keep aware of their conversation as to make sure that
1.) They did not get stung
2.) That they did not hurt the Bee more than it may already be hurt.

I changed my plan of action once our dog Guinness decided that he was hyper and happy and wanted to go bouncing around the court yard. I certainly did not want to see this little Bee crushed by the large paws of Guinness. I could imagine what a painful death that would be. Too have your insides crushed. Perhaps the pain would only last for a moment...For me, That seems like a moment too long. Could you for a moment think of the feelings that would go through your being as you felt the heaviness..The pressure build as you were becoming crushed. The feelings in your temples and your head as the pressure increased. Man just an awful way to go.

So I went outside and scooped up the little bee unto a leaf. He was fighting for his life. Struggling to move his limbs and his wings. At first glance I thought that maybe he was just drenched from the rain storm and that if I brought him inside to dry off he would soon be on his way flying about from flower to flower. Upon second glance, I realized this was not the case.. For the little Bee had no stinger. It was inevitable. He was going to die. His body most have been going through some sort of paralyzation. This of course is my assumption as I do not remember everything I was taught about Bee's when in school. I could have looked up information on the internet about Bees but instead I decided to lay him on a soft paper with some flowers near his body. So I stood there and watched this little Bee laying there on my kitchen counter. He seemed to want to try to get to the flowers. As before the flowers were beside him he mildly moved his limbs. Though upon the placement of the flowers he began to try to move with such determination. Such a fight. This little guy was a fighter. So I put a flower close to his face. That seemed to calm him. He relaxed. I moved my face as close as I could to his so that I could look at his eyes. They were a very pretty shape. I was speaking to the Bee. Not outloud. I was telling him how beautiful his color was. I was letting him know how strong he was and that he did his job that he programmed to do. I let him know that I was sorry that he had to experience a slow death. I thought about his limbs and about humans are so afraid of insects naturally it seems. Not all humans. I thought about how as he was fighting to move his limbs, to him his limbs must have felt like our own limbs feel to us. He tried to use a front limb to move his back limb and I could feel his struggle. It was much like when my cerebral palsy just flakes out on me and I cannot as hard as I try move my own legs. It's an awful feeling. Your brain is telling you what to do, how to move your limbs and you just cannot as they are like cement weights. I wanted to help him. Though I didn't know what was best, too be there and watch him suffer slowly. Or to help him and make the death process more rapid. I could not bring myself to injure this Bee. I instead decided to pet him. I let my index finger glide across his head and wings. Then I paused. My finger touching the soft amber fur coat on the top of his head. I envisioned life. I saw in my mind humans that I do not know, that I have never seen. They were walking down streets in many different places, many different humans. The images were passing so rapidly. I saw animals in forests, I saw insects many insects. And just like the people in my vision there were many of them. So many. I saw them in different places. I told the Bee that perhaps he could feel at peace feeling all of the energy that was coming up through my body to my fingertip and upon his head. Perhaps he could see all of the images that I was seeing and it was good yet somehow sad to see the life. I watched him for over an hour. Until he moved no longer. I turned my back to get some water. Then when back to the Bee. I picked up the paper towel that had him and the flowers on it and placed it upon the window sill. There in the day light I saw that while I went to get my drink of water, his amber tongue had come out of his mouth. It was long and seemed to go off in three different directions. He was definately no longer alive. I looked upon his little Bee body and saw in this sunlight that it was very intricate. Such beautiful warm Amber and Butterscotch colors mixed in with his coat and his beautiful crystalline wings. His wings so clear with delicate amber and honey like veining.
Life is so amazing. In all of it's forms. When I was a child and I had all of the "time" in the world, I used to go outside and look for little insects and creatures that I could save if they were what I considered to be in a bad place. As I never wanted anything to get trampled on. Especially on the rainy days. My mother new my mission well. It was routine for her to put on my little green rain suit and boots so that I could go outside and pick up every earth worm that I came across and place them back in a good healthy soiled area. Truthfully I still long to do that now. We live in the French Quarter where everyone is so busy with city life I am sure that they don't think twice about the little insects on the ground. However, I can't go out and do such a thing in today's society. I know that adults would look upon me as odd. Part of me doesn't care what they think. I did in fact save a locust form being trapped in an elevator one day. My husband, children and I were doing busy city day things when we get inside of this elevator at Canal Place. I immediately see this beautiful green insect sitting on the floor. I so wanted to help him but we had errands to run. The entire time we were running our errands I could not stop chattering to my beloved husband about this insect. He knew that it would mean a lot to me if we could get him out of the elevator and out in a tree. So he took me back to the correct elevator and we waited...Me anxiously...As the door opened there was the beautiful green insect. I scooped him up and we all went outside. My husband stood a little afar with the girls as to not block of the sidewalk, as I picked out a nice bush. When I tried to place the locust down he would not leave me. I had to talk to him and tell him that he should go into this bush. As I was doing so, outloud mind you, this ponytail sensitive type guy came up to me and asked me where a good place was to get vegetarian food. My higher self chuckled sarcastic like in my head. As of course, the girl speaking to the insect trying to convince him it is safe to go on the bush is going to be the person to ask about vegetarian food. :) After the locust was safely in a bush my family and I went on and about our way when a lady bug landed on my husbands hand as he was pushing the girls stroller. We laughed knowingly about that and decided to allow the lady bug to do as she wished. However really in my head I was pleading with her not to jump on to the side walk of the city. She never did. She stayed with us the entire time tucked away in a crevice of the top visor sun protector portion of the stroller. hmmmm.
wow I lost myself there in story land. Okay I should go play with my girls now. :)