So the other day I was in the kitchen standing at the kitchen sink and thinking about how happy I was to be alive. Thinking about how it is truly a blessing to have children. The sounds of their laughter, their arguments even, Glory to God, to the Creator!!! I was truly happy. I was having some pains in my back and at the same time offhandedly wondered if this is the way it feels for angels to carry their wings. Do they hurt them? Then all of the sudden I lost my gimpy balance and the steak knife that I was cleaning poked right into my left wrist. In a matter of seconds I had so many thoughts. I thought that was it, the Creator/the trickster was very humorous to take my life when I was having a truly happy to be alive moment. I felt like the character in that Kevin Spacey movie, dang what was it called..beautiful something...I don't remember the title. But anyway he was truly happy and okay and loved his family and then he was shot in the head by his fucked neighbor.
So there I was having all these thoughts fly through my mind so much more quickly than they already fly through my mind and soul on a regular basis when things are just normal.
I thought about how I was going to fall to the kitchen floor and pass out and how Matty would just be in the living room with the girls playing video games and he wouldn't come in to see what the loud commotion was. It would be poor Willow who would find me dead on the floor with a pool of blood surrounding me as she came in to get some scissors for her construction paper projects that she loves to work on. I thought about how everything was going to be okay, that if this is how the Creator was teaching me a lesson then I have something to learn from it. I thought this Creator has some kind of sense of humor. I thought about how much I loved everyone and was saying goodbye.
and then as I looked at my wrist and found the actual puncture mark, it was not even a centimeter away from my artery. WOW! Thank you Creator for shaking me up! I couldn't get over it for the next few hours. Well I must still not be over it if I'm typing about it eh.
Love life and your time here. Most of all be happy!